Now, there has to comes a point in ones life when the game playing stops. We make a commitment to be faithful to God, our mates and ourselves. It has been said ‘In order to understand the deed, look to the motive’. We must understanding that the root of unfaithfulness is a sin issue that needs to be dealt with. This article was taken from one of my favourite magazines. I pray we read it not from a place of judging the parties involved, but from a place of ~ Lord search my heart, uproot every seed of unfaithfulness in me. Cause my motives to be pure, and my deeds always pleasing in your sight. In Jesus Name! Psalm 51:10
The whole Steve McNair death definitely blew me away. I turn to SportsCenter and there it is, Air McNair dead. As I heard the details, one stood out to me, “with a friend,” which later became “a woman who was not his wife.” Was Steve McNair being unfaithful to his wife…and lost his life for it? That really resonated with me; I suppose it’s one thing to get put out of the house, lose some money, and have to face a divorce. But losing your life!
It made me think of all the women that I had been unfaithful to. What was different between Steve and me? We were about the same age and we were both Black men. I started to think, Is cheating really worth it? Mind you, I’m thinking about this from Steve’s point of view. He’s married, has a beautiful wife and children, no worries of money most likely for the rest of his life, and has had an illustrious collegiate and professional football career. I, on the other hand, don’t have any of that, but there are bigger things at stake. A family has lost their husband, father, son, uncle, and we’ve lost another Black man. His children have to grow up without their father because he chose to be unfaithful, and made a bad life decision. The truth of the matter is that it could happen to any one of us, money and NFL fame aside. So this had become personal.
When I was younger I thought you were more of a man if you juggled more women. I’ve since come to realize that cheating isn’t that hard and it’s more difficult to be faithful to one woman. We men lose sight of what is truly valuable in our lives. I’m not even sure it’s a sex thing; I think sometimes we men just want someone to spend time with that can be our friend, someone to listen to us, someone who we can have fun with. Maybe we men cheat for the same reasons women do, for that emotional fulfillment and sex is just a fringe benefit.
So I think back to times when I was unfaithful, what if I had lost my life? Could I look back and say it was worth it? There isn’t that much good sex in the world. I would rather be around to have an impact on the lives of my family and friends. We men have to learn to appreciate more than just the physical beauty and the “right now” in our lives. We need to think about whom we love in that moment and who loves us. The Chris Rock movie “I Think I Love My Wife” comes to mind. The scene where he and Kerry Washington are getting ready to have sex and he sees himself in the mirror with the tie around his head. When I first saw the movie, I said, “Get outta here!” However, maybe this is what married life is really like, and that’s something I’d have to be able to walk away from or avoid altogether.
So, women, I encourage you to be a friend to your significant other, and promote open dialogue no matter how painful it might be sometimes. Men, let’s put our families first, be strong and remember the responsibility and commitment that we made.